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I care too much
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By:
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Melaniekay
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Mood:
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Disapointed
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Date:
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Jul 22, 2010
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Music:
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None
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So i met this man that had just gotten out of a four year relationship only moths ago. Yes i know i am dumb. I immediately liked him, and he liked me (who wouldn't he was on the rebound). we were together for exactly 5 months to the day. I invested so many emotions in this man, and he invested very little. He could never make time for me, could never tell me why, could only see me when he wanted to. Whatever i wanted didnt matter. But even after all this i really did care about him, more than anything. Yeah i know dumb huh? i loved how dorky and funny and just plain awesome he was. he was a natural flirt to, and it drove me nuts. i know i acted crazy cause everything he did made me so jealous... jealous for attention, jealous that he didn't care and i did... i know the way i acted ruined things, but how does one accept that? i finally have my life lined up, im finally going to college 2 hours away... i need to go and improve my life, but so much of me wants to stay and try and repair things. i ask him to tell me to disappear and tell me i don't have a chance, but he says he cant because he doesn't know what the future holds.. this only makes me wanna throw my dreams away more for him. why can't i just move on and forget this man... why does he pull at my heart like he does, he doesnt feel the way i do, i dont think he ever will, but part of me wants to try so hard. I feel like moving on is giving up, and i dont know if im ready to give up... i love him so much, i just wished he loved me.
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